music & plurk

all i can say is crap crap crap//
sigh):
my maths grades are slipping when i concentrate on sci.

sat
went geography den for tution..
waited damn long for tuition ok!
dun wanna talk abt it.
came home, had steamboat for dinner.

sun
today was the worst day
i nearly lost my life.
parents were bad mood, cos tutor released us late.
den keep scolding.
den their quarelling bcome our fault.
worst to say, i cried in public bcos was made to apologise super loudly
its not my fault!
its partly the tutor fault to hold back for half an hour.
so i breathe n swallowed chicken.
lil did i knw, i choked & it was awful.
my parents were mad & they didnt even care.
my dad just say, give her $$ n ask her take cab home in a sarcastic way.
nobody even patted my back to let the chicken to be thrown out
my mum den said, go to the toilet la, u embarrasing us.
i mean, what can u get when u choke ?
u surely have to cough right?
my face was super red, n tears were flowing down.
i threw out at the toilet..

when i came back to my seat,
my sis told me silently that the man seating next to us were being nice n embarrased my parents.
he was like, urr daugther is choked?
n my mum just smiled embarassingly.

oh god, what parents i had,
i nearly lost my life.
couldnt breathe n it was stuck at my windpipe
nobody care!
so my life is just a piece of shit..


den went to church to se grandma pathised
pics will be shown next time..


from this experience,
my dad critised me saying tat i o lvl already still so stupid
sure fail o lvl.
my parents are worst than stranger.
i really wanted to get out of thie shit house

i hvent been posting.,
rah!!!!!
o lvl cuming soon n im feeling so stress.
im sure everybody feel the same way too.
everyone jy ok?
im muggling hard with work everyday..
very tired..
not enough zzz..

tmrw still got geo & its a sat!!!
wth?
so many tests!

im back to posting..
im irritated, retard & stupid loser. who cant even perform. useless brendy!!!
i feel better now by saying this.
i have been muggling hard..
so hard ..
but the results is like still crap..
(burst into tears right now)
why do ppl who work hard with help from teachers still perform badly
why why why?
i did understand
i did memorise.
its just careless.
im very sad
everyday, i pray that god bless me.
but things dun turn what it was suppsoe to be.
when i dun study = fail
is accepteable.
but if study & dun do well.
its unaccepted

wanted to go temple today to do volunteering work.
but i decided to study
cos im upsad.
life is so unfair!!!!

i hvent been posting..
this 1 week pass as if its just an hour a day..
im so busy with consultaions..
i wish i could stop time & rest a while):

WED
went for physics..
den ate pizza hut with christine, mingyu & yeowshen at cp
den tuition..


THUR
went for geography..
we [ me, gerald, fredick & rosy]
played in class..
there were only 4 of us lol
played after lesson..



FRI
went to meet seiwting n indrani today at siewting's place..
thks for the present((:
im touched..

i decided to burst this out..
after art experiecnce..
its so obvious that most of the teachers are so biased towards the normal stream
arent we normal students human too?
arent we sitting for o lvl too?
everything only care for express.
babysit them..
den we have to figure out on our own..
the good thing is na ppl can depend on themselves in poly lifes..
i hate this school.
i wish i wasnt in this sch at all

finally have a rest day..
art is over!!!
celebrate!
dad told me to rest today.. = no studying..
bcos of art, i lose weight..
believe it?
see my face n my body den u will realised..
last fri.. it was really fasting ok.
i dint eat breakfast, ran to sch..
do till530
mum came to see tcher..
till dinner, den i ate n drank something..
so was yesterday.
no recess n late lunch which was ard5
saw vincent at mac..
n chatted with gerald..

dad fetch me n went to his office to print art..
today = boring day..
im resting..
finally touch the net..
hvent touch for weeks.

i have cca cert again(:
must go laminate it..

Im back to posting..
L1R4 is 25..
so crap!
im depress.. even mys sister knw what i will say everyday when im back frm sch
its not bcos of not working hard.. its art!!
im sad..
& some ppl in class keep asking ard wads urr overall ~
im already sad..
& tat person who seats next to me gets so much attention with marks comparison.
everytime i hear, i control my emotions.
times are hard..
im sooooo upsad.
i cant FEEL any better.
i need more supports from parents n friends in thie hard time.
but none seems to be the case,,
JIE, now i finally understand what u meant..
though i used to get what u meant before,
i dint expect it to be soooo shocking.
everyday going to sch holding back my tears.
everyday going to school to put up a fake smile.
its so hard for me..

i tried to look forward, but it isnt working
this is onli a prelim..
& yet im crying..
i dint put in my 100 percent effort at all.
heart was into o lvl art..
i was just wishing parents will understand..
unfortunaetly is NO.

Sometimes hard work dont pay at all!
believe me..
i dun knw why taking the prelim results is just like taking the o's..
i cry because i care..
i cant believe this is happening..
im crying bcos of prelim results..
i hope teacher will encourage me further to make me better..


thks daddy aka shaun, uncle, gerald, hidayah, peckgek for being my listener..
its very hard to say how i feel.
but i feel better ranting it out..
have been staying for art till 9 for 2 days..
tired!!!!
lack of zzz..
daddy is complainning..
he is saying i have eating disorder & stres..
of cos stress.. im scared kana scolded..

& tat mdm woo..
scold scold scold.
ask the mr P la..
want our work!
like we wanna run frm urr lesson!
mr HO betray us..
so did fifi..
in the end i said i dint do on purpose to mdm nashita..
i got such gd record, as if i wanna run like that...
she's a real nag!



why do ppl always backstab us?


i hate the blogger now..
feel like changing to live journal already..
here's some super duper late pics.
im sry christine..
really busy..
this were taking during the peiod of waiting time for oral..






so boring till she slept..










thats all folks~
maybe i shld change to live journal..
(still thinking)

whats wrong with blogger!!! ita soo sucky

im so sad.. my physics..
sigh....
i know some teachers are here in FB cheering me up..
i feel much better, thks alot..
i miss the past.. thats what i have to say..
life is so tough, results are not showing like they shld be..
whats wrong with me?
i feel like crazhing my head on the wall like a crazy lady..
i cant play .. all i have to do is study..
my parents just dun understand..
i waste 1/3 of my life studying.. the rest..
is all abt housework, cleaning & packing....
24 hours is not enough..
i need a life really..

hais,,
i need a shoulder to lie on..
i knw my life is not very perfect & not as horrid as those ppl who're worst than i am..
but with this rate of 1/3 studying, without resting, i wun get to the grades i need.
i wish i was a genius, i person who do not need to flip pages, but knw whats going on..

im sry if i insult anyone..
but, life is so tough..

sad to say, my parents still think they 're in the olden times..
everything i must do, responsible..
next time if i get married oso still the same cycle..
why cant i be like other teens?
study as they wish..
now adays, teens get to do whatever they want..
dun do hsework wont be threatened to be chased out of the house..
wad abt me?
im leaving in the past life i guess..

chatterbox

shout it out!